mE TaLkk PrEtTiE 1 dAy : The Stupidification of Adolescents Everywhere
“Status Updates”: the stupidification of adolescents everywhere.
In a world where nothing is as it seems… well nothing is as it seems. This blog is designed to give normal people everywhere an understanding of the language of status updates.
Step 1. mAke SurE tO TAkE sOme uNeCeSSary TiMe TyPiNg LYke dIs.
The text message, Facebook, and Twitter are increasingly becoming the dominant communication methods of the millennials err…post-millenials(?) but one has to wonder what the decaying effects of the 140-character lexicon are. The common use of code words and alternate spellings undoubtedly creates confusion to all who come across this alternate language.
So I began to wonder what a resume for a “LYk dIs-er” would look like:
lAst YuRrr to nOw:
fOoT LockEr
Ca$hI3R
ReLeVant dUTies:
HeLpin’ PeEps wId ThEy KicKs.
Hmmm, makes sense to me… but will they get the job?
With the growing prevalence of “LYk dIs-ers” this type of language use and writing should be either banned or institutionalized.
No matter it would be interesting to see how future anthologists decipher this language. Maybe they will think we were a brilliant civilization with the complex ability to use multiple variations of generation-specific spelling for a single phrase? Alternatively, they may scratch their heads and ask a simple, universal three-character question: W-H-Y?